In thousands of homes across Canada and the United States the family can be a crucible for seething violence. Women are beaten daily and innocent children are victims of brutal assaults. There is another form of violence that exists, has been largely ignored and even laughed at. Men are also victims of domestic violence.
Statistics show that men are sometimes the victim of physical and emotional abuse at the hands of their partners or spouses. Martin Fiebert, Ph.D. investigated physical aggression by women on their male partner. 285 women from 978 women polled, stated they were physically aggressive toward their male partner. He also found that women in their twenties were significantly more likely to be aggressive than women in their thirties and above.
Advocacy
Numerous studies have been conducted that validate some women are physically and emotionally aggressive in relationships. There have been public conferences about this issue and Senator Anne C Cools (of Canada) has been instrumental in helping to get these issues into the public forum.
Men rarely come forward to share their experiences, as they fear it is a loss of their manhood and they fear being labeled “a wimp”. There is now clinical literature (Williams & Myer 92) that states men are reluctant to seek help, as they fear being stigmatized. Seeking help, regardless of gender takes a wealth of strength and courage regardless of whether the victim is male or female.
Women Can Be Violent Too
Many of today’s women know of an uncle, father, brother or cousin who has been the victim of domestic violence. Women have in fact sought services for their loved ones as they can not believe what women can get away with in today’s society. They have found in their search is the attitude that if men are abused, it’s only in self-defense. In the late 1990’s there was a public debate in Toronto, “When She Hurts Him”. During this debate, Judy Rebick (former president of the National Action Committee on the Status of Women of Canada) said that if a man hits his wife it is in self-defense.
Violence against men should be no laughing matter. Yet on television and in the comics violence against men is laughed at. Many of us Seinfeld fans laughed every time Elaine acted surprised and blurted “get out” as she sent Kramer off his feet. No man will ever be seen doing that to a woman in a sitcom and getting away with it.
Public Awareness
Over the past decade there has been a lot of good work accomplished to bring awareness to this social issue. Shelters for men have opened and crisis lines have been set up specifically for men. There are empathetic individuals out there who are willing to listen and to help.
If you know of anyone, regardless of gender who has been abused, please urge them to seek help.
Violence is not a gender issue – it is a human issue.
Karen Stephenson - Karen has written for several newspapers and print media in addition to many online publications. She holds a B.A. in English and an ...
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